The best possible life....

When we wound up admitted to Children's Pittsburgh 1 1/2 days and they did her first heart catherization, the Catherization team of doctors came to us and said "there is nothing we can do for her... at this point you just have to give her the best possible life that you can."  That moment and that phrase has stuck with me.  Is it even possible to cram "the best possible life" into 16 to 26 years?   Will she be healthy enough to dance at her prom, experience her first kiss, fall in love, have her own children and care for them like she does for her babies?   What exactly is the "best possible life" anyway.  Sure it includes love and hugs and kisses, which she gets plenty of, but what else.  We all know that material objects make people happy, but really happy?  I don't know what would be the best possible thing in her life, mostly because I don't even know if she will be able to experience it before she's 30.  Adoption is quite a different experience than having the boys and having carried them for 9 months.  We had time to get to know them and love them even before they were born.  And when they arrived, it was beautiful.  Adoption is beautiful too.  As Mia changes and grows we do too, with her.  I fall more in love with her every day that passes... we all do.  I think too that I have so much time with our boys, to screw up and figure it out, and eventually settle on our relationship when they are adults.  But with her I always feel I need to get everything right.  Like a screw up on my part is part of her life wasted.  So I guess I have come full circle again.  How do I ensure that she has the "best possible" in the years that she is with us?  I guess it's just love, that's the best we can give her. 

Tomorrow marks 6 months with Mia!

It's hard and easy to believe that Mia has been with us for 6 months now.  She has changed so much in the past 6 months.  Mia's english is coming around at amazing speed and she communicates in sentences with us now.  When it Mia was upset in the past she would shut down and refuse to speak (which was frustrating for all of us), but now she'll tell us what's wrong, and is always quick to tattle on her brothers!

Mia loves to swim and be outside.  She likes to draw and color.  She is counting to 10 consistently now and knows about 1/2 of her primary colors.  The most important thing about Mia is that she is so happy... 99% of the time, and this is no exaggeration.  She plays, laughs, runs, and is very snuggly.  Every day when she gets dressed she says "I'm a pretty princess!" She definitely is the princess in this house.  When she hasn't annoyed them, Jacob and Logan spoil her, play with her, and carry her around.  But the one she has completely wrapped around her finger is her daddy!  In Matt's eyes Mia can do no wrong, and he admits that he has trouble disciplining her... it's actually really cute.  The boys have been out of school for 2 weeks now and this is their daily routine.... ride, swim, ride, swim, etc...  They are having a nice summer and I'm glad to have them home.  Matt and I continue to work opposite shifts to care for the kids.

Mia and I went to the cardiologist on Thursday for a follow up.  Mia is doing well at this time, but her body will need another surgery before the year is up.  Her first surgery shunted an artificial tube from her right ventricle to her pulmonary artery.  Since her pulmonary artery to the right lung is blocked, it was under high amounts of pressure.  Now, all of her vessels could be under that pressure and the ventricle heals.  And the question is will it heal, and are the other larger vessels that her body created to compensate growing or scarred, useful or useless.  The uncertainty of her medical health is unnerving, and her unknown life expectancy is just as saddening.  I find myself at times looking at her and welling up with tears.  I know that she has a better life than she did in the orphanage and that Matt and I are working to give her the best life that she can possibly have.  I force myself to believe that she will have a long and prosperous life, and will continue to shock and amaze her medical team.