11 months (and 9 days)

So I am a little late posting this update, but better late than never! We are quickly approaching a year with Mia and she is doing so well.  She will now spontaneously approach us and hug us and tell us that she loves us or that we are her best friend.  She would never decline a hug in the past, but would never intiate it... now she does and it thrills us!  As for her health, within the last post I wrote about her heart catherization being scheduled.  They could not do anything in the procedure and the blockage is in the muscle so nothing could be done there either.  So they wanted her to have surgery as soon as possible.  It was scheduled for the 11/22, but Mia came down with a cold, so it has now been postponed until 12/6.  It is a pretty intense surgery, with 2 incisions, including both lung and heart work.  Her team believes that she is strong enough for this surgery.
Mia also had a few firsts last month, with her brothers helping her learn the ropes the entire time.

Mia was a princess for halloween, and was shocked that people just gave her candy!

Her first thanksgiving.... she enjoyed all of the food as always.

And her first time decorating a Christmas tree.  She kept saying it was so beautiful... she is absolutley adorable.

Stay tuned for surgery updates and 1 year with Mia!!!

10 months!

We have now had Mia for 10 months!!  And she is great!  Mia L-O-V-E-S pre-school.  She gets so excited every day to go.  She is making friends and learning so much.  The school does a developmental screening on the kids and she failed her language screen (identifying different objects by name... shocking I know! LOL!) and her gross motor screen, which we were also no surprised by.  She is a klutz, so they will be bringing PT into school to work with her.  I would be a klutz too, if I couldn't run for almost 4 years!  The theme with Mia for the last 2 month has been "testing".  If I scream and cry in the middle of the mall because I want a dress and not a jacket, what will you do?  If I refuse to answer you when you talk to me, what will happen? It doesn't happen all day long and I just try to remain positive, if she didn't trust us or was comfortable in our home, she wouldn't do it, so I guess we all just get those pats on the back for making her feel truly a part of the family.  As for her health, not the best news, but we knew it was going to be a long road for her back in January.  She was starting to have blue spells late summer.  When we went to Children's for our follow up, they could see a blockage in her heart, close to where the shunt was placed.  She will go in on Tues 10/25 for a heart cath and we have our finger's crossed that they can balloon it open then.  Either way, it looks like she will be having another open heart procedure in the next few months, because they need to move on with repairs to her heart, small and steady steps to repair her heart... complete repair is still unknown.  She attended her first wedding and got a "princess dress", her words, for the occasion.  She had a blast and loved the entire weekend away!  Congrats again to Andrew and Bettina!

Jacob is doing well.  6th grade now and is doing very well this year in school.  He is finally taking his homework responsibilities seriously , which makes for more pleasant evenings in the Vogel house!  He turned 12 on October 10th, which was celebrated in Philadelphia!  He had a nice day and got a Foosball table when we returned home.  He plays a lot with his Dad!

If you remember last year for Logan in school was hellatious!  This year is wonderful.  He was diagnosed in May with Dyslexia and with the correct supports he is doing so well this year in 4th grade.  No more tears, no more faking sick... he actually enjoys school for the first time since Kindergarten!  Logan has also joined Scouts and he really enjoys the activities through Scouts as well.

Puppy Jack is growing so big, but is a great dog.  Completely trained at 4 months and knows basic commands.  He is also quite snuggly and spoiled!  We are not sure how long he will believe that he is a lap dog, because it won't last much longer!

Matt and I are the same... some work, some play, just trying to survive the kids and all that they bring daily.

I will keep everyone updated with Mia's health.

missed

Just for today I will try to live through the next 24 hours

and not expect to get over my child's death,
but instead learn to live with it, just one day at a time.

Just for today I will remember my child's life,

not just his death,
and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days and moments we shared.

Just for today I will forgive all the family and friends
who didn't help or comfort me the way I needed them to.
They truly did not know how.

Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside,
for maybe if I smile a little,
my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.

Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child,
for they are hurting too,
and perhaps we can help each other.

Just for today I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt,
for deep in my heart I know if there was anything in this world
I could of done to save my child from death,
I would of done it.

Just for today I will honor my child's memory
by doing something with my other children
because I know that would make him proud.

Just for today I will offer my hand in friendship
to another bereaved parent
for I do know how they feel.

Just for today when my heart feels like breaking,
I will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay for loving
and the only reason I hurt is because
I had the privilege of loving so much

Just for today I will not compare myself with others.
I am fortunate to be who I am
and have had my child for as long as I did.

Just for today I will allow myself to be happy,
for I know that I am not deserting him by living on.
Just for today I will accept that I did not die when my child did,
my life did go on,
and I am the only one who can make that life worthwhile once more.


Happy 8th birthday Killian... you are never far from our thoughts and hearts.

8 months tomorrow!! (seems like she has always been here though)

Well the month of August has been pretty uneventful for the Vogel family, with the exception of the septic backing up and the water pressure tank spraying water all over the basement!  The boys have been enjoying their last days of freedom from school fishing, riding dirt bikes, and swimming.  They have also been getting into some trouble and doing some wild things, such as riding a wagon down a steep hill towards the road = 0!  The other night they rigged a saucer sled to a bicycle. They worked super hard on it, geared up with helmets and knee pads and rode the sled down the driveway!  It was not only creative, but hysterical to watch!

And Miss Mia is doing so well.  She is sooooo excited to go to pre-school in a few weeks.  She tells us that she is excited to make new friends and will share her toys.  Her English continues to progress.  We are going to have her evaluated by a speech therapist to make sure that their is nothing that we or they could work on with her.  Matt's favorite thing to say to her is "Ni hao" (which means hello in Chinese)  Mia cracks up every time and corrects our pronunciation.  It is so cute!  She is growing like a weed and continues to have a great appetite.  She has gotten so big before our eyes and she is simply beautiful.  She has adjusted better than we could have ever expected and it is really like she has always been here.  As far as her health goes, she continues to do well and plays like a healthy child right now.  I take her back to the cardiologist in mid-September, when I anticipate that they will be scheduling her for her next heart Catherization.  She loves us and we love her.  She talks about going back to China to visit, but does not want to live there. She wants us all to go to China with her... she is so smart!

Mia this spring

Mia yesterday

The last surprise for the month is that on July 20th we got a new puppy!  Jack the Saint Bernard!  We were planning to wait until Spring for a new puppy, but it was so lonely in the house without a dog around.  He is a puppy in many ways, but very laid back.  He is also doing really well with potty training!  It has been nice to train a dog with the boys home... they actually help to take him out!

I will keep everyone posted with updates about our family... thanks for caring and reading!

7 months with Mia!!!

Tuesday marks 7 months with our little miss Mia!  She has had several firsts over the past month. 

She celebrated her first father's day with Matt and the kids made him a "#1 dad" trophy!

She is a fish and loves swimming.  She started using water wings this week and loves them.  She swims for hours at a time.  She also experienced a trip and face plant :(  She sacrificed her baby's safety for her face when she tripped!  That is the injury under her nose...

Mia also saw her first fireworks and loved them as well.  On the 4th we shot fireworks at our house and the only thing she didn't like was the firecrackers.  The following weekend we saw professional fireworks and she loved them.  She kept saying "beautiful"!!  Speaking of her language, she is picking up English so quickly and is really smart!  She has counting to 10 down, but she is still struggling with colors.  She will be attending pre-school in the fall, so that should help her to further develop her language.

We also had our first photo shoot and we finally got her 4 year old picture done.  She's a ham!

Finally I wanted to say sorry about my last doom and gloom post.  I know this will sound strange, but I had this overwhelming sense of dread that weekend, and I assumed it was because of Mia's medical condition.  It turns out that the following monday, our dog George was diagnosed with cancer.  We just put him to sleep this past Monday.... it was really hard on the boys, especially Logan.  We miss him.

Stay tuned for more adventures of the Vogels!!

The best possible life....

When we wound up admitted to Children's Pittsburgh 1 1/2 days and they did her first heart catherization, the Catherization team of doctors came to us and said "there is nothing we can do for her... at this point you just have to give her the best possible life that you can."  That moment and that phrase has stuck with me.  Is it even possible to cram "the best possible life" into 16 to 26 years?   Will she be healthy enough to dance at her prom, experience her first kiss, fall in love, have her own children and care for them like she does for her babies?   What exactly is the "best possible life" anyway.  Sure it includes love and hugs and kisses, which she gets plenty of, but what else.  We all know that material objects make people happy, but really happy?  I don't know what would be the best possible thing in her life, mostly because I don't even know if she will be able to experience it before she's 30.  Adoption is quite a different experience than having the boys and having carried them for 9 months.  We had time to get to know them and love them even before they were born.  And when they arrived, it was beautiful.  Adoption is beautiful too.  As Mia changes and grows we do too, with her.  I fall more in love with her every day that passes... we all do.  I think too that I have so much time with our boys, to screw up and figure it out, and eventually settle on our relationship when they are adults.  But with her I always feel I need to get everything right.  Like a screw up on my part is part of her life wasted.  So I guess I have come full circle again.  How do I ensure that she has the "best possible" in the years that she is with us?  I guess it's just love, that's the best we can give her. 

Tomorrow marks 6 months with Mia!

It's hard and easy to believe that Mia has been with us for 6 months now.  She has changed so much in the past 6 months.  Mia's english is coming around at amazing speed and she communicates in sentences with us now.  When it Mia was upset in the past she would shut down and refuse to speak (which was frustrating for all of us), but now she'll tell us what's wrong, and is always quick to tattle on her brothers!

Mia loves to swim and be outside.  She likes to draw and color.  She is counting to 10 consistently now and knows about 1/2 of her primary colors.  The most important thing about Mia is that she is so happy... 99% of the time, and this is no exaggeration.  She plays, laughs, runs, and is very snuggly.  Every day when she gets dressed she says "I'm a pretty princess!" She definitely is the princess in this house.  When she hasn't annoyed them, Jacob and Logan spoil her, play with her, and carry her around.  But the one she has completely wrapped around her finger is her daddy!  In Matt's eyes Mia can do no wrong, and he admits that he has trouble disciplining her... it's actually really cute.  The boys have been out of school for 2 weeks now and this is their daily routine.... ride, swim, ride, swim, etc...  They are having a nice summer and I'm glad to have them home.  Matt and I continue to work opposite shifts to care for the kids.

Mia and I went to the cardiologist on Thursday for a follow up.  Mia is doing well at this time, but her body will need another surgery before the year is up.  Her first surgery shunted an artificial tube from her right ventricle to her pulmonary artery.  Since her pulmonary artery to the right lung is blocked, it was under high amounts of pressure.  Now, all of her vessels could be under that pressure and the ventricle heals.  And the question is will it heal, and are the other larger vessels that her body created to compensate growing or scarred, useful or useless.  The uncertainty of her medical health is unnerving, and her unknown life expectancy is just as saddening.  I find myself at times looking at her and welling up with tears.  I know that she has a better life than she did in the orphanage and that Matt and I are working to give her the best life that she can possibly have.  I force myself to believe that she will have a long and prosperous life, and will continue to shock and amaze her medical team. 

Almost 4 months with Mia!

Mia continues to do well post-surgery.  She had her follow up appointment with her cardiologist, Dr. Yaya, as Mia calls him on Thursday.  She continues to amaze everyone with her strength, but he was very clear that we are not done with her medical interventions.  This is just the first step and he said she may need another surgery next year.  When they went in for the surgery the surgeon found that she has collateral vessels (or vessels that her body created to pick up more oxygen from her lungs) that are larger than her pulmonary artery.  So the next step may be to move those arteries to be direct links from her Right Ventricle to her lung, but we shall see.  He wanted us to know that she is not out of the woods yet, she has a very complex heart and will require many more surgeries.  But for now they are going to leave her alone.  The doctor told me he just wants her to play and be a normal kid and we don't see him again until July and at that time we will most likely schedule another heart catherization.  This will give her vessels time to grow and they will have a better idea of how her vessels are responding the the surgery she just had.  We know that the surgery is successful at this time, because she is so pink and does not loose her breath as easily.  The boys are really happy too because she can play with them.   When she came home from the hospital Jacob asked me if she was going to live a long time now... he is a very sensitive boy and I think that loosing another sibling would be very difficult for him as well and Matt and I.  Both boys were so happy to see that she looked and felt better. 

The boys have restarted dirt bike riding and so far only one collision that resulted in Jacob being run over by his brother, but Jacob was OK.  They will start racing soon as well.  The boys love to be outside, and are typically outside from the time they get home, until it gets dark.  Mia also LOVES to be outside.  I can do yard work for hours and she is content playing with toys outside or simply exploring the property.  We think that she must not have been allowed outside for long periods of time at the orphanage.  When we take her outside, she will tantrum when we bring her inside, even if we had been outside for 4 hours or more.

It truly amazes all of us how far she has come in 4 months. 
This is the little girl we got at the orphanage...

And this is our girl now...

From this....

To this!

She not only looks different, but her personality is really starting to come out.  The orphanage staff reported that she was quiet.  She is not quiet... she is actually quite loud.  And did I happen to mention that she is quite stubborn!  Matt and I are already seeing that we will really have our hands full with her during the teenage years.  She will roll her eyes when we tell her something she is not happy with!!  She is also a real girly-girl, who loves shoes and dresses. She is  intelligent and is picking up the language faster than we ever could have imagined.  She loves to look at and have books read to her.  Her favorite TV shows are Kai-Lan, Little Bill, Olivia, Wonder Pets, and Dora.  We were trying to keep Dora away from her, only because we did not want to confuse her more with different language, but she is obsessed with her and loves the show.  Here are some of the things that Mia says to use daily...

"What's dat?"
"Whatcha doin?"
"Beena" or Banana
I love that Mia calls beds "nappy time"
"Can I help you please"- which really means that she wants help
"I want this one"   "I NEED this one" - we hear that a lot
"This is mine" or "this is meyaya's"
When we get dressed in the morning and we are all done she says "Mia pretty"  and if anyone else gets dressed they become pretty too... daddy, jacob, and logan included
When she plays with her dolls she says to them "It's OK baby.. Mama help you"
Her consistent way of counting right now "1, 2, 3, 6, 4, 7"  and then she days "I did it!"
After she completes an activity she says "TADA!!"
"Oh cap" which means oh crap... that is my fault  I say that a lot
There is some stiff competition when the boys are in school with Mia and George.  If George comes over for pets she will tell him "No George!  That's MY mama"
Mia loves to name all the members of her family and "gammie" is always on the list.


We are all very excited to celebrate Mia's first Easter with her.  Our family has become quite chaotic, but it is a really fun chaos!

March was a busy month!

Well the month started off first with a big 4th birthday party for Mia!  She had such a great time!  Lots of present and a celebration with family was lots of fun for her and us.  For the first week after her party, she would come to me daily and say "Happy birthday?"  and she still occasionally asks me.   So we are pretty sure that she enjoyed herself.

The next weekend we were able to celebrate Matt's cousin's wedding.  It was a lot of fun and it was wonderful to see his cousin so happy and in love and he married a wonderful woman.  Mia had so much fun being carried all around by her cousin Tess and also spent a great deal of time on Tony, or yeye's, lap.  The boys enjoyed playing on the golf greens finding golf balls and tees.  Mia did poop out quickly by the end of the night and was quite blue in color.  The dress didn't help much, but she did look cute.

Two weeks later was surgery.  She had open heart on the 29th of March and was discharged April 1st.  The surgeon and her cardioloist told us that this quick of a recovery is amazing and they expected her to be in for at least 14 days... not 4.  Since she has been home she has been quite comfortable and her spirits have really lifted.  She is still sore, but her pain is managed by alternating tylenol and motrin.  How crazy is that?  The best part about this whole ordeal is Mia does not get out of breath anymore.  She runs around the house and can walk long distances without any problems.  And she looks so much better.  She is pink.  Look at the pics below at the changes....

Finger's before surgery

Fingers after surgery

Mia before surgery

Mia after surgery

We find her pinkness amazing!  The next steps are to let her heal for a good 6 months... YEA a summer with no medical procedures... and then a heart catherization to see how she is progressing and if their is more they can do for her.  Thank you for everyone who supported us through this surgery.

Birthday, Wedding, and then Surgery

Well we went to see the cardiologist on Tuesday for her to be checked over from her last Catherization.  She has healed very well from this procedure.  He then told me that he would be discussing her case with the entire team on Wednesday evening and that he would call Monday to let us know the outcome and the game plan for her heart due to scheduled vacation days.  Well we were totally shocked to hear from him that evening.  So the game plan for her is to shunt a vessel, made of gortex from her right ventricle to her right lung.  Sounds simple right?  But in reality it is risky and the phrases "she will be very sick and it could take months for her to recover"  The main problem is that the pressure in that chamber is twice what her entire body pressure is, which puts her at risk for atrithmia's and a heart attack.  The surgeons are prepared for this and while she will not need to be on a heart-lung machine during the operation, she will most likely need to be on one after the surgery to allow her body to adjust to the pressure.  It will also allow her lung to adjust to a normal amount of blood flow.  Her right lung has not seen normal blood flow ever, so when blood is pumped in there her body will react in a way to fight that flow.  So it is a really risky surgery in a nutshell, but it totally outweighs the reality for us of only having her around for 20 years.  Also they are hoping that with normal blood flow to that lung that the pulmonary artery will grow and that they can continue to stent it larger and larger.  They have done this before which puts us at ease, but I thought I was going to throw up after I got off the phone and Matt said his chest hurt.

Before this all occurs we have a birthday party coming up for Mia!!  I am so excited to have her first and 4th birthday party!  And then the next weekend we will have a wedding for Matt's cousin!  So she will have some really fun weekends before she has a rough surgery.

Other than that things here have been pretty status quo here... 

Jacob's favorite past time to get through the winter months is to play hoops in the kitchen

Logan continues to pass the time with video games and oreos

And Mia continues to crack us up everyday!  We especially enjoy when she tells us what's up in Chinese and uses her hands to do it!

Stay tuned for an update about Mia's 4th birthday!!!!

Mia's latest heart news

Ok... this post will lead to some troubling news so I thought I would start with that we have had Mia for 2 months today!!!  Needless to say we are so excited to have her in our lives.  She is a joy and so much fun!  She is picking up english so quickly... it is truly amazing.  She enjoyed her first superbowl party and had a fun time staying up late!  She is very resilient and loving and I must say that if you asked her she would agree that she loves to be a part of our family too! 

And now onto the heart news.  Mia was scheduled for another catherization to get more information in the right lung.  They could not previously get into this lung before because they could not access the artery.  At that time they thought that maybe their were no viable arteries there, but a CT scan showed that she did have arteries and vessels to the right lung.  So they scheduled her for this cath, using the CT scan as a road map, so they could measure the pressures and make sure she does not have pulmonary hypertension.  So the results of yesterdays test was that her left lung is screwed and will always be screwed.  She has pulmonary hypertension throughout the lung, and lungs cannot be repaired.  This news was not completely shocking to us, we kind of already knew that.  The right lung is a little better.  With a decent sized artery on that side with vessels that her body has developed to assist her in getting more oxygen.  So let me post a picture of what pulmonary atresia looks like, and then I can explain further.

 

When you look at the pictures the pulmonary artery on a normal heart is large, but her's is more like a vein.  She also has the 2 holes in her heart.  The hole between the atria's is life sustaining for Mia and without it her blood can't mix in any oxygenated blood.  The hole between the ventricles is not necessary... it's not hurting her or helping her either.  The RV is also a non-working chamber for Mia... it is very thick and under high pressure, because of the tiny pulmonary artery it pumps against itself.  So to recap... she is living on one good lung and 3 chambers.  So the next step is that they will present her case to the surgeons and see what they suggest.  Right now our goal for Mia is to improve her breathing a quality of life.  This will most likely mean shunting vessels from her body from her good lung to her heart, but it depends on what the surgeon says.  We are also putting her on baby aspirin to thin her blood.  When you have poor oxygen levels your body produces more red blood cells to try to get as much oxygen as it can, so Mia's blood is very thick.  Thinning her blood can only help to get more blood flowing more easily through her body.  In the long term, as I said before, she will need a heart/lung transplant.   As she grows, it will become more difficult for her.  We will wait to see what our favorite doctor,  Dr. Allada, says is our next step.  Thanks for everyone's support.

1 month already!!!

OK, so this is only 1 week late, but Mia has been in our life for one month already!!! It is really hard to imagine life without her now.

There is so much to report. Mia is doing very well with her adjustment and amazes me everyday. She is an awesome sleeper and actually naps for an hour and a half every day!! The boys gave up naps by the time they were 2! She is a very happy child, who loves to snuggle and play with her brothers. She gets so excited when they get home from school. And speaking of the boys they are awesome with her and a really enjoying having a little sister. They are a great help to her and will play with her during the day. Three children in the home, definitely make it a circus act here! Mia is also amazing us with her language development. By the end of my second week in China I was completely annoyed with the language barrier and could not wait to get home and speak English! Mia, on the other hand, is rarely frustrated by the language barrier. She really wants to learn and repeats everything we say!

And speaking of English, here are the words that little miss Mia has picked up already and says consistently throughout the day.

Mama- she says this about 100 times per day!

Daddy- she says a lot as well

Yogan - aka Logan

Jaca - aka Jacob

milk

wata - water

bebe - baby

bye bye

hi

tot - hot

baayea- potty

puppy/ dog (or "go!".... mia is not an animal lover)

cat (same as above)

color

there ya go - when she gives you something

come here

come on

cheerios/ chips/ noodles

bear

i love you

this one

huh?- when you call her name or she doesn't understand you

I am sure there are more that I have forgotten, but it just gives a sense of how quickly she is picking up english!

She loves to dance and music. She is not a huge fan of TV, but the shows that grab her attention most are Little Bill (that coincidentally have the same episodes on that I watched 11 years ago with Jacob), Olivia, and the Fresh beat band.

We saw the cardiologist last week and she has another heart catherization scheduled for February 18th. They think that there are some better veins to the lung that they could not get into on the initial cath. During this cath they will use the CT scan that she had as a road map to her vessels and be measuring pressures, etc. If they can do something to get her better oxygen, they will do it within the cath procedure. We are just hoping that some of those vessels are just blocked and not scarred. It they are not scarred than their may be some surgical interventions that they can do, we just won't know until we have the test done. Fingers and toes crossed!

We just love and adore this little girl. She is truly a joy... funny, loving, and sweet. We know that her abandonment must have been a difficult decision for her birth parents, being that they had her for the first 6 months of her life. I could not imagine making this decision and feel that they made the choice to better her life. I have no idea who her birth parents are, but I just wish that they somehow know that she is happy and loved.

Our trip to China... in a nutshell. And what has happened since we have been home

Sorry this has taken me so long to post. I had no idea that blogging, along with facebook and youtube is blocked in China. I backtrack through the trip now.

We left on Thursday evening (12/16) in a rental car for Cleveland. We slept a grand total of 3 hours and then boarded a plane to Chicago. After a 2 hour layover in Chicago we flew to Shanghai China.... approximately 14 hours by plane. We had a 5 hour layover in Shanghai and some trouble with our tickets, but we got our tickets and were ready to travel to Xi'an China... then home of our daughter Mia. With layovers and flying time it took a total of 30 hours to get to China! We arrived at our hotel at midnight and crashed.

Sunday (12/19)

Suzanne, my sister-in-law woke us up at 9:45 to catch brunch in the hotel. After some breakfast we decided to do some sightseeing before we got Mia. We went to the Goose Pagoda that day. It was very pretty with lots of beautiful Buddha’s and buildings. We had to find a taxi back and seemed to find the one who was having a bad day. He was extremely aggressive in his driving. The interesting thing about driving in China is that there are really no rules… figure out a way to get there and everything is fine. The taxi’s will push pedestrians out of the way and you are really taking your life into your own hands. Matt really enjoys the taxi rides and would love to drive this way back home... LOL!! At 3:45 we met our guide in the hotel and she took us to meet Mia. Mia was completely freaked out, but there were no tears when we in the room with her caregiver. Then we got into the van to travel to get her passport pictures taken and she LOST it. Crying…. Actually sobbing for the car ride and while in that building. I felt so bad for her… she was very confused. We got her back to the hotel and started giving her snacks. She allowed us to take of her coat, but not her snow pants or her shoes. She ate and ate and ate that night, for what was 4 hours straight. We actually had to cut her off for fear she might vomit. We decided to put her down for the night and she allowed me to take off her snow pants, but would not change her clothes or take off her shoes. She slept very well. At some point during the night she took off her shoes.

Monday 12/20
Mia woke up and was pleasant. She allowed me to change her clothes. We also gave her a bath, which she stood for and would not play with any toys. She did not cry during the bath though. Breakfast was the same…. she ate and ate and ate some more. We had to go to the notary office and apply for her passport this day as well. Our guide met us and Matt and I just went to complete these steps. What we noticed by this time is that every room, building, etc is really hot. When we asked our guide about this she told us that the gov’t controls the heat and then everyone pays the bill to the gov’t monthly! They must turn in up so high to reduce the number of complaints. Mia was doing well with her potty skills. It's wonderful to have a potty trained child!

Tuesday 12/21
This day was a free day with no obligation for the adoption. We went outside the hotel complex into the city and went to a large shopping area. The one thing I can say about China is that it is filthy. The smog is disgusting and some people wear masks. We also did some sightseeing. We decided to go the the bell tower and the drum tower at 3:30. So by the time we were done it was dark and we were having a hell of a time trying to find a cab. There are also a lot of steps in China that I would have to carry Mia up. With her heart condition she cannot walk far without exhausting herself. She additionally will not allow anyone else to carry her but me at this time. She was starting to become more comfortable with us and was very attached to me.

Wednesday 12/22
Today was the orphanage visit and was very overwhelming. We were dropping off the donations and were allowed to see where Mia used to live. We dropped off the donations in her old play room. Her friends were yelling her name and were very happy to see her. When Tony and Zan were unloading, Matt and I were playing with the kids there… many of whom were severely disabled and it was very overwhelming. Mia was OK playing with her friends for some time. Then we went to see her room. At that point she became very overwhelmed and was crying. I picked her up and we quickly left. JoJo, our Chinese guide and translator, reassured her in Chines that she was leaving with us and asked her if she would like to return to the van. Without hesitation she nodded her head yes. She was fine once we left the orphanage, but that night was somewhat of a challenge and became very stubborn about bedtime. She refused to lay down n her crib for about a half hour, but eventually did.

Thursday 12/23
Terra cotta warrior day. It was very cool to see them! They are very amazing and it is amazing how they unearth them. Mia was testing her limits that day and was behaving like a typical 3 year old. Mia can be very stubborn and wants what she wants when she wants it. The Terra cotta warriors were really amazing to see.



Friday 12/24
Christmas eve! Hung in the hotel until checkout at 12. During the time we were hanging out, at one point Mia became upset and then inconsolable. She was sobbing like the first night we got her. We think that she thought that our first hotel was our home and then we were moving her again. She was very upset. Also our guide JoJo took us to the airport and Mia connected her with the orphanage and would become very upset when she saw JoJo. We believe that Mia thought she was returning to the orphanage and was also confused about the move. Flight to Guangzhou at 7:30 pm. Mia did fine with the flight that day, but hates the seatbelt. She is bright so she was able to figure out how to take it off and I had to hold it closed during take off and landing. Other than that she did fine. Until we got to the hotel and sobbing again... this was the toughest move for her.

Saturday 12/25
Christmas!!! Mia had her medical exam today and her TB test done. Mia passed her medical exam and did well with the TB needle. Then we spent time in the playroom going over paperwork. In the afternoon we hung out, watched TV and went out to dinner. It was decided this day that Matt would return home early after talking to his mom.

Sunday 12/26
Talked to the boys and wished them a merry Christmas! They were having a good time and they were very excited that Matt was returning home! Logan is having a harder time without me, so I felt relieved that they will be home with their dad soon! We walked over to a traditional Chinese market today, which was really cool and then took a bus to a tomb. EXTREMELY boring exhibit to visit. Afterward we got together with another family for Thai food, which was a lot of fun.

Monday 12/27
Wake up at 6, eat breakfast and put Matt in a 7am cab to the airport. Zan and I go to Starbucks and then I take Mia to the playroom to meet the rest of the group to have the tb results read. Mia was negative as were all the rest in our group. Went to lunch, Mia had a nap, and then out to a bookstore in a large shopping area. It was crazy and we were the ONLY american’s there. Ate dinner and came back to the hotel. The cab situation is much easier in this city. It is also cleaner here and really warm... about 70 degrees. Mia is a doll and was doing much better everyday!

Tuesday 12/28

I took Mia in the morning to have her TB test read and it was negative!! We met a new family from Boston that day and they were a riot. We had a wonderful time with them and spent the evening drinking wine while the kids slept. Let me tell you I needed it. I could not wait to go home by this point.

Wednesday 12/29

Happy Birthday to Matt. Matt was now home and we were doing more video chat with the boys. Tony, my nephew was sick in the room with a sinus infection, so Zan and I went to a park to see the 5 goats, the symbol of Guangzhou. The park was beautiful and it was nice to walk around outside. Mia enjoyed it too! At this point I have noticed that I have been getting more and more dirty looks from the Chinese people about my adopting Mia. They look at her and then look at me and then glare. I looked up on google translate "you didn't want to take care of her, so mind your business", but it was too hard to remember... LOL!

Thursday 12/30

Consulate day. On this day I pledged to never abuse or abandon Mia and to love her as if she were one of my own. We also received her Visa to return with us to the USA! That evening we just ate in the hotel and spent the day watching TV.

Friday 12/31

Pack and fly to Beijing. Mia did much better with this transition and was quite bonded to me at this point. She was also able to comply with the seatbelt!

Saturday 1/1

Zan and Tony went to the great wall and Mia and I hung in the hotel. It sounded beautiful... but they said it was freezing cold.

Sunday 1/2

This day was packing to go home and we went to visit the forbidden city. It was pretty cool to see, though Mia had a rough time about halfway through. With her heart condition it is very difficult for her to regulate heat and she was very cold. We finished quickly and got her back to the hotel. Off to the airport at 2:oo and in the airport we had some trouble with Mia's passport and they were not going to allow her to pass through Canada on layover. After some talking and my sister in laws quick thoughts to call the Canadian consulate... we got her on the plane... phew! The plane back was 12 hours.. we got the tailwind! Mia did great on the plane... she ate, she played, and she slept. We got through Canada and then boarded a prop plane to Pittsburgh form Toronto. It was something out of Indiana Jones!!! But we made it and I was never so happy to be back in the USA!! There were many well wishers at the airport that evening.... but my favorite were the boys. I missed them so much and it was wonderful to see them. We got home from the airport around 12 midnight and we all went to sleep. Mia slept well that night, but was up very early.

Monday 1/3

The boys woke up shortly after Mia and wanted to see her and play with her. She was not herself. Her personality was completely different and I just assumed that she was having some rouble transitioning to the house. The boys went into school late that day and shortly after they left she threw up. I put her in my bed and she slept for hours. She refused to eat, very unlike her, she literally eats anything that isn't nailed down and went to bed at 6:30. She slept poorly that night up every 2-3 hours crying. Again I thought it was transition.

Tuesday 1/4

She woke up hungry and ate a bunch of food... and then threw it all back up. We had a previously scheduled appt with the pediatrician to get her physical and immunizations completed. When we arrived I let them know about her vomiting, and due to her heart condition they sent us directly to Children's hospital Pittsburgh. When we arrived through the ER they did a sonogram of her heart and also determined that she was severely dehydrated from the flight home. Due to the dehydration and the results of her sonogram we were admitted to the Cardiac ICU. They ran fluids for the night and into the next day and she was getting better. Our pediatric cardiologist on Tuesday evening gave us a poor prognosis as he could not hear a good murmur and was not sure about her blood flow in her heart. Also because of the dehydration, they could not get a good look at her heart and lungs. The doctors scheduled her at this time for a Cardiac Catherization for Wednesday afternoon.

Wednesday 1/5

Mia was slowly becoming more of herself. She was playing and was such a good little patient. We spent a lot of time snuggling in the hospital bed. Her cardiologist was pleased when he listened to her and could hear a better murmur which made him more hopeful, though he told us we would have to wait for the results of the Cath to know what was going on for sure. After the Cath, they told us the bad news and showed us the pictures of her lungs. Mia not only has tetraloogy of fallot... she also has pulminary atresia. The prognosis is not the greatest. Pulmonary atresia is a malformation of the pulmonary valve in which the valve orifice fails to develop. The valve is completely closed thereby obstructing the outflow of blood from the heart to the lungs. This is why she is bluish most of the time and this cannot be repaired. She also has 2 holes in her heart between the Atrium and Ventricle... which we knew from her report. We thought that these could be repaired, but if we repair them she will die. She also only has 3 working chambers. This night the prognosis was really bad, but they wanted to run some more testing to see the arteries in her lungs and what we could work with. We cried and slept very limited this evening... jet lag was also a problem.

Thursday 1/6

Mia was taken off IV fluids and was allowed to eat this morning... which made her VERY happy. We did her lung profusion test this evening and learned that her left lung is stronger than her right and profuses oxygen at 60% compared to her right lung at 40%. News that we can work with, but we are not sure about the arteries yet. Jet lag caught up to both of us this evening and we slept from 6:30 to 4:00 the next morning. I felt much better to be back on our time.

Friday 1/7

Mia had her CT scan at 7:30 am this day. They gave her some sedation this day. We were also scheduled to go home this day and I could not wait. When we saw the cardiologist he gave us, what he called a "ray of hope". She has some nice arteries that they can see in the CT scan to her lungs. The hope is to shunt vessels from her legs to allow more oxygen rich blood to her lungs. He needs to put all 3 reports together to let us know the next plan. We will never be able to repair her heart... only do small surgical interventions to improve her quality of life. She has a life expectancy at this time of 25 to 30 years.. We are all hoping that medical science will improve in this time so that she can have a heart lung transplant as a young adult. At this time the anti rejection drugs only last about 5 years with a transplant so that is not an option for her. We will see him again on Jan 20th. He let us go home and she is on oxygen, when she sleeps and supplimentally through the day as she needs it. She is such a sweetie and doesn't fight it at all.

This weekend we played and played and played some more. She has adjusted to the house beautifully. She was initially terrified of George, the dog, but is now more tolerant of him. She absolutely ADORES her brothers. She finds them hilarious and follows them all over the house. She is also picking up English very quickly. She is very bright. She is also very loving and is sleeping through the night now, with an hour nap in the afternoon. She is so sweet and we love her very much.

Thanks for reading... more to come of the adventures of Mia!