missed

Just for today I will try to live through the next 24 hours

and not expect to get over my child's death,
but instead learn to live with it, just one day at a time.

Just for today I will remember my child's life,

not just his death,
and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days and moments we shared.

Just for today I will forgive all the family and friends
who didn't help or comfort me the way I needed them to.
They truly did not know how.

Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside,
for maybe if I smile a little,
my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.

Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child,
for they are hurting too,
and perhaps we can help each other.

Just for today I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt,
for deep in my heart I know if there was anything in this world
I could of done to save my child from death,
I would of done it.

Just for today I will honor my child's memory
by doing something with my other children
because I know that would make him proud.

Just for today I will offer my hand in friendship
to another bereaved parent
for I do know how they feel.

Just for today when my heart feels like breaking,
I will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay for loving
and the only reason I hurt is because
I had the privilege of loving so much

Just for today I will not compare myself with others.
I am fortunate to be who I am
and have had my child for as long as I did.

Just for today I will allow myself to be happy,
for I know that I am not deserting him by living on.
Just for today I will accept that I did not die when my child did,
my life did go on,
and I am the only one who can make that life worthwhile once more.


Happy 8th birthday Killian... you are never far from our thoughts and hearts.